EMS Makes Good on Return Policy WESTERN NEW YORK, USA- “This bag will keep you happy for the next ten years, and if you ever don’t like it just keep your receipt and you can return it, no questions asked.” In 2006, A salesman at Eastern Mountain Sports was riding me to purchase a Kelty [...]
EMS Makes Good on Return Policy
WESTERN NEW YORK, USA- “This bag will keep you happy for the next ten years, and if you ever don’t like it just keep your receipt and you can return it, no questions asked.”
In 2006, A salesman at Eastern Mountain Sports was riding me to purchase a Kelty Redwing backpack. I was concerned that the zipper openings that went clear around the bag would not be able to hold up to the rigors of long term travel.
The salesman sought to ensure me that they would. He told me about EMS’s return policy:
Apparently, if you keep the receipt you can return an item at any time for any reason.
“So if I decide I don’t like this bag ten years from now I can return it for any reason at all and get a refund,” I remember countering.
“Yes, if you still have the original receipt,” the salesman confidently boasted.
It is not my impression that the salespeople at EMS work on commission but this guy was trying hard to sell me a backpack. I took him up on his challenge, I bought a Kelty Redwing backpack.
In retrospect, my concerns about the zippers on this bag were unnecessary: they held up completely over the five years that I used this backpack continuously. In fact, the way the zipper opened the bag like a suitcase was clearly one of its best features. I carried this Kelty bag with me through China, North Africa, Central America (twice), Eastern Europe (twice), the Middle East, the Caribbean, and Mexico.
The backpack held up through the perpetual beatings of around the world travel, but I still remember the salesman’s boast about the return policy. I remembered his words as a challenge. I have grown a fond distaste for salesman talking bullshit to make a sale, and I had an inner urge to vindicate this fellow’s words. I admit, when the salesman made his claims, he appeared to be on safe ground, for what brash variety of anal human would keep the receipt for a backpack that they purchases a half decade ago?
Apparently, I would.
Returning to my family’s new home near Rochester, New York I easily located the receipt for the Kelty backpack that I planned from the start to return when I bought it in 2006. I had no real complaints about the backpack — it was beat to shit, but I must attest to having been the beater — and it truly had held up well under the circumstances it was put through. The only problem with it was that 2650 cubic inches of interior volume is now too small for family travel. I also took the initial salesman’s balmy boasts as a challenge: I wanted to see if I really could return a five year old backpack for a full refund.
I went over to EMS, laid the busted and beat up backpack down upon the counter of some poor checkout girl and tossed the crispy old receipt down on top of it.
“I have to return this,” I spoke.
She picked up the receipt, which was worn with age to the point that the printing was barely legible. “Wow, this is an old one,” she exclaimed. “Is there anything wrong with the bag?” she asked.
“Yeah, just look at it,” I countered with a cocky air.
She did. The backpack looked like roadkill. She began processing my refund, but soon thought better of it. She called a manager.
Some buckaroo of a service employee stepped up to the deck. He appeared to be one of those odd cats who take a sense of pride and power from their meager positions of authority in the world. He stared at the bag, he stared at me. We sized each other up. He asked me what was wrong with the bag. It was on.
I demonstrated how it had been beaten up.
“Well, how long were you expecting it to last?” the manager replied — perhaps rightfully — with a snarky, somewhat righteous tone. He knew I was scum bagging his domain.
[adsense]”When I bought the bag I was told that it would be good for 10 years, and the salesman also informed me of your return policy,” I spoke as I showed how the harness of the backpack would no longer properly take a heavy load.
“Do you feel as if you could still use it?” the manager countered.
“Yeah, if I wanted to just throw it in a corner of my room to use as a mantle piece.”
I had the fellow stalemated, and I knew it, the rest of our discourse would just be the manager’s passive aggression boiling off in an attempt to maintain face. I did not even need to repeat EMS’s return policy back to him:
Our first priority is your complete satisfaction with your Eastern Mountain Sports purchase. If you are dissatisfied for any reason and have your original store receipt or web invoice, we will exchange or repair the item in question or provide a full refund. -EMS refund policy
“I will do the refund, but just so you know our return policy is not that you can return an item at any time just because you feel like it,” the manager lecture.
I thought of countering out of pride, but it was the first part of this statement that interested me — he could say whatever he wanted after this. $87 was soon laid into my palm and I walked out of the store impressed by the exchange: EMS made good on their return policy.
For those who would say that I scammed this store or abused a very personable and liberal exchange policy, I would say that you are correct. But, as any webmaster can attest from scanning this page, I replaced the value of the loss in full.
“When we would do that at LL Bean,” my Maine raised wife concluded as we exited Eastern Mountain Sports, “we would at least break off a zipper first or something.”
Good call for next time.
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