How to Pick Up Lesbians

Or the Lesbian Lean

My aunt figured out that she was a lesbian at the age of 39. With this epiphany she realized that had no idea how to meet and pick up women. She bobbled her way through a score of trashy women who continuously feasted like bottom feeders at the local gay bars to no avail.

“If you want to meet a life partner stay away from bars,” I would tell her.

“If someone is 30 or 40 years old and still hanging out at bars there is something wrong with them,” my mother would say.

My aunt was confused. “How I am going to meet gay women, just walk up to them on the street and say ‘Are you gay?’” she roared.

A couple of years later this is exactly what she does. The tactic: the lesbian lean.

“All you do is if you see a women that you think may be gay in a grocery store or someplace, you walk up really close and reach over her and grab an item off of a shelf.”

This intrusion breaks the ice.

If the woman squirms away from the close encounter she is probably not gay, if she stands strong against the intrusion then it shows that she may be comfortable in close proximity with other women and, therefore, could be a lesbian.

So if she doesn’t move away, you ask her for her number; if she squirms and acts like your an asshole barging in front of her, you run away.

The lesbian lean