I do not feel as if I can take over the world today. Mira and I parted ways, I got in a huge fight with Jet Blue airways and Mexican immigration about departure taxes, Google dropped from their index a hundred pages from Vagabond Journey, and I happenstancially found a photo that was stolen from Vagabond Journey and published without permission in a Mexican tattoo magazine. The topper to all of this is that my laptop computer is quickly kicking the bucket and needs to be replaced with money that I am not sure that I have. But I smile and look onward anyway. For how much fun could life be without a few ruts on the Road every once in a while. Oh well, take what comes and walk right on passed it with a smile on my face.
Wade from Vagabond Journey.com
in Cancun, Mexico- May 14, 2008
For I know that Mira and I will meet again down the Road, I will soon wave goodbye to the Mexican immigration stooges, Google should pick up the pages again, and the fact that my photos are being stolen is testament to the fact that people are going to Vagabond Journey.com. All is well, but I just feel a little down right now.
I think this is normal, sometimes.
I am sitting at the Cancun airport now waiting for a flight to JFK and then to Rochester, NY. Planes are rolling on the tarmac and very clean tourists are happily recollecting the vacation that they just completed all around a lonesome me. My family should be waiting for me when I land in Rochester, and I will be able to shower my nephew and baby Chinese sister with gifts and play. I smile.
I just need to shake some weight off of my shoulders.
I am happy to visit my family again.
I am happy to keep traveling on in June to Eastern Europe and then the Middle East.
I am happy that Vagabond Journey.com is getting enough visitors to have content stolen from it.
I am happy that I have to get a new computer.
I am happy that I am making an average of around $7 a day off of publishing articles and from advertisers on my websites.
I am doing well.
This is what I am speaking to myself right now anyway.
I continuously have the feeling that I am teetering at the brink of colossal, absolute, and complete failure. I always feel like this. Usually I cover up this ever imposing feeling with hard work. Projects seem to divert my attention for the most part, but once in a while, in some quiet time of rest, the feeling arises again and cannot be silenced. This moment is now. I am being taunted as I write these words by some harking cricket of my imagination that someday I will fail beyond repair.
But I do not really believe in all of this failure crap, anyway.
So I move forward in some dire attempt to smash, silence, and utter destroy this nonsensical cricket. So I work non-stop at writing articles and building websites. These chirps have given me ambition and an iron willed determination. I just need to make sure that I keep a smile on my face, or nothing is ever ever worth it.
I can hear that damn cricket chirping: “You will one day sit with nothing in your hat except your name and your own fallow eccentricities.”
But I answer that if I can have an awry little smile thrown into this deal, then I will sit content with this lot
Getting on the plane now for a visit to whence I commenced.
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